Why I won't kill myself.

I've thought about killing myself before. I mean, who hasn't? How would I do it? Maybe swallow a whole bunch of pills? Cut my wrist? Cut my throat? Maybe I could jump off... no, that sounds scary... I'd probably go with the OD. So anyway, I've thought about it, but I could not see myself committing suicide. Whenever I hear about someone that kills themself I am always left asking myself "Why? I wish I knew Why I wish I knew what was going through that persons head the last 24hours they were alive." I sadly have known someone who killed himself. His name is Warren, he hung himself around his 18Th birthday. I hardly knew him yet it shook my world. I cried for days on end. I was so sad, he was so young. And I would never see him again. Thinking about it is making me cry right now. I just can't understand HOW someone can do it to themselves. Sure in some circumstances I can understand, but not most. Not Warrens case either, no one knows why he did it, which makes it sadder.

So I wouldn't kill myself because
A) I like knowing what's happening in this world, and don't like the fact that stuff will go on when I'm gone. That may sound silly but it's true. I couldn't kill myself, I'd miss so many things! My sisters growing up, Me growing up! Marriage, Sex, pregnancy, being a mother! All things I want to do when I'm older.
B) I once said "I would rather put up with the pain of this world, than make my loved ones go through the pain of my suicide." I couldn't do hat to my family.
C) I am a Christian, and rely a lot on God, which gives me strength

.ok, so there was this one time I OD'd. But it wasn't a suicide attempt. I'll explain.I got my heart broken, and it was worse than I imagined. I was just constantly in physical pain, and always crying. Everything gave me a reason to be sad. I had some sleeping tablets and in desperation and depression I swallowed them all. 3 hours later an Ambulance driver woke me up and took me to hospital where I spent the night. I ended up having to go to counseling. I didn't want to die when I took them, but at the time I didn't care.

Plus I think suicide and murder make lifes unfinished, and how sad is an unfinished life. How sad is it when someone is going through that much pain, death seems like the only answer. I wish I could save everyone who has commited suicide, but I can't. I wish I could go back in time and save Warren, but sadly I can't.

*Cry*