I'm loved by many =]

Rachael<33

Muffy<33>

Ammy<33

That's what i get for trying to be nice!

"Dear You,
It still hurts, what you did to me.
I still feel like crying when I think about it!
I really believed you loved me.
What A fool I was!
You really showed me who you are and I'm glad
I now know who that person is!
Just think if I married a person like You!
How terrible my marriage would be?
Especially since you would cheat on your girlfriend!
I was shocked to hear what you have become without me!
But hearing who you have become has just made it so
Much easier for me to get over you!

Oh man! i let you do thing I should have Never had let you do!
You took what did not belong to you! (for anyone reading this I

just thought I'd make clear that I'm not talking about my virginity

because he did not take that!)

Oh wow! I can't believe I thought I couldn't survive without you!
it's just I made you my world
And you just took my world away from me!
And I didn't know what to do!
But I realised when I was in hospital
God was taking care of me the whole time!
My time was not up.
And going to hospital helped me realise, I God is there!!
You Should have Never been my

world!
God is my world! and i didn't feel like I was sleeping in a hospital

bed, I felt like I was sleeping in God's arms and I felt to safe and I

knew that eventually after all the pain, I would come out of this OK!
And things can only get better!
But I can't just thank God I mean he is worth all the praise and

worship but my friends and Family!!
They have made this so much easier for me!

My mother Belinda♥,
You was there by my side after I took the sleeping pills, you was

there in the ambulance with me, you was there in the ER, and you

even stayed with me in the hospital!
You are such a blessing and it's so hard for me to say this

sometimes but I could not have asked for a better mother and I

thank God for you. I love you so much and I can say thanks to you,

I am the person I am today, and I am truly blessed to call you my

mother!

My father Jamie♥,
I have never really been close to you dad. But when I saw you when

you visited me in hospital, I realised how much I really love you, and

love the fact that you're my father! I know you don't show it much

but I know you love me, and even though the way you let me know

are really small, I love you so much and I'm sorry for anything and

everything I have done to upset you or that has hurt you.

Cassie♥,
You was there Cas, when I was there, Asleep you was there holding

my hand. When I got woken up, all I wanted was for you to hold my

hand again. I reached for you but couldn't have you!
You have (almost ) always been there for me! I love you so much

and I can't believe what a friendship we have!
I don't want to ever lose that!
I'm so sorry for any pain i have caused you! you don't deserve it!

and I will always be there for you (unless I just can't be!

which I'm sorry when I can't =[)
Best friends forever that's what we said when we was younger, and

it still reigns true!

Josh♥,
You was also there for me when I really needed you!
You have been there through a lot of stuff in my life, you have

practically became like my brother and I know that you will always

be there for me Ily!!

Rachael♥,
You don't realise the impact you've made in my life! I know if I met

you we could become so much closer! Ily so much and I'm so glad

to be able to call you my friend!!

Ammy♥,
We have became pretty close but due to you not being able to be

online there's a lot we have to learn about one and other but I still

consider you one of my closest friends and I wouldn't trade our

friendship for the world! i love you

Michael Smith♥,
I yelled at you, I swore at you, (Over MSN anyway) and all you said

was words from God, Words of wisdom, and it's so awesome to

know that was Jesus speaking through you and you don't realise

how much you helped me just by our small conversation tonight. I

love you (As a friend lol) and I know that God is going to use you in

big ways! Just stay strong and Thank you for all your help! Ily!

Leith♥,
You was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. And I love the

fact you was there. It may not have seemed like you done much but

just being there when I needed you was enough! and Ily! :)

Jami♥,
Talking to you was inspiring and I love the fact that you still care for

me after all that's happened and I love you very much and Thank

you for all you've done for me!!

Krissie♥,
You done so little but just being my friend, giving me hugs when I

needed them! it all adds up and I'm so glad that I didn't let my

jealousy get in the way of getting to know the beautiful person you

are!!

Kelsey♥,
I'm sorry! I don't know how much I hurt you with all the things I

said to you! i was pretty mean and I'm sorry. thank you for always

being there despite the fact I wasnt very nice to your cousin!

Harley♥,
you were once one of my best friends but distance has put a

damper on that but seeing you in melb was awesome and receiving

you emails is so cool knowing I have friends that still care for me

even though we don't keep in contact much! Ily!

Jacqueline♥,
ILY SO MUCH!! YOU DON'T REALISE HOW MUCH YOU

MEAN TO ME!!! You sometimes think that people don't want to

get to know you because of your looks but you are such a beautiful

person in my eyes! I am so glad I have been blessed with a sister I

truly love!! You have always been there and you mean so much to

me! I don't think you realise this but without you I would feel almost

incomplete!! ILY!!! just remember I will always be there for you NO

MATTER WHAT!!! :D
And yes i cried writing this bit lol ^_^

Felicity♥,
Oh you said you didn't miss or worry about me!! But i know you

did. =] I love you and you may annoy the heck outta me but I will

always be here if you need me! need to cry I will always have a

shoulder for you! No matter what :)

Jayde♥,
Aww! i used to be so mean to you! I'm sorry! I missed you when I

was in hospital! Ily so much don't ever change! your such a beautiful

person and you will grow into a beautiful women of God!

Faith♥,
I'm so glad to call you my sister! I wouldn't trade you for the world

and you mean so much to me and Ily so much and never forget

that!!

Phoebe♥,
What Can I say that hasn't already been said? Your my baby sister!

I loved seeing you when you visited me in hospital! I even gave you

all my ice cream!! lol Ily so much and I am so blessed to have such

beautiful kind sisters and I love you phoebe!! SO much!

Jarrod♥
You make me laugh so much and I'm so glad you are my friend. Ty

for being there just to cuddle! hehe Oh and thanks for letting me

draw on you! you rock! heh Don't ever change! Ily! =]
(Sorry if I forgot anyone!)

You don't realise how much you have helped me!
And it really counts when I needed friends the most how loving you

all were! =]

My Apologies

Daniel and Alison,
You both do not realise how much you have hurt me and I am still

not over it. I am slowly though. But everyday I have these thought of

wanting to hurt you so much just so you can physically feel what I

feel on the inside!

(You do not deserve this Daniel)
But I am sorry, I am so truly sorry and I hope you will both find it in

your hearts to forgive me!

Alison, I don't know you, If I had met you in another situation there

would be a chance of us being friends, but you don't even know me

so I'm sure you don't care how much you have hurt me!

You know so many people have said about how you annoy them,

and they don't like the way you fall for any guy that comes along,

take that as a hint, you do not need guys!
god is what completes you not some stupid guy that makes you feel

"Special" or all "tingly inside" because unless you haven't noticed

how long have you relationships lasted?
Not very long and it's not something that changes as you get older.

The only thing that has to change is you, think about that.

Don't feel sorry for me with what I'm going through, I am

learning/have learned that
what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
I don't need Daniel, Especially after seeing what type of a person he

is. (he asked someone if they would cheat on their boyfriend and

be with him, he would cheat on Alison and be with her!)
to get to the top you start at the bottom!
With God all things are possible!
God doesn't give you more than you can handle, so he must think

that I am strong enough for this which makes me feel good knowing

how strong I really can be if I focus on him and friends and family.
Never make someone your world! because if they leave what have

you got left?

in the future, Maybe one day, you and I Daniel will be friends?
Who knows!
Only God!
And All you need to do is focus on him and everything will fall into

place!
Daniel stop looking for what you have in God in places you will

never find them!
Daniel you need Serious Help!
And if you ever need me, I will always be here for you.
Just know that I am not a doormat you can just walk all over!
I pledged my friendship to you and that is still valid and I love you

dearly.
For so long you was my most trusted friend, and not only that you

was my boyfriend!
I won't lie, I can't just forget that!
I know things will never be the same between us but you choose

what path you follow and know that Jesus, and I want you to walk

the right one and I so want for you to be happy!
I love and care deeply for you Daniel, every bad word out of my

mouth, in my thoughts have been out of anger, and I am sorry.

The ball is now in your court, you decide what happens.

I love all of you and know that Jesus does too!
Thank you all so much
Love always
Jessica Karli xx"

Thats what I wrote to Daniel. You think he would at least be happy at the fact I stopped considering killing him! But No, not good enough for him!!

Wanna hear his reply to that email?

""Alison, I don't know you, If I had met you in another situation there would be a chance of us being friends, but you don't even know me so I'm sure you don't care how much you have hurt me!

You know so many people have said about how you annoy them, and they don't like the way you fall for any guy that comes along, take that as a hint, you do not need guys!
god is what completes you not some stupid guy that makes you feel "Special" or all "tingly inside" because unless you haven't noticed how long have you relationships lasted?
Not very long and it's not something that changes as you get older. The only thing that has to change is you, think about that."



WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WRITING THIS ABOUT ALLISON!! U KNOW JACK ALL ABOUT HER LIFE...
Y CANT YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE... ITS HARD ENOUGH IN LIFE WIV OUT U CONSTANTLY MSGING ME SAYIN HOW PPL SHOULDNT FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!
SAYIN HOW BAD U HURT, WAT U THINK I DONT.
IF YOU DONT NEED ME THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL TLKIN TO ME?!?"

All I was doing was trying to apoligize for anything I had done, and he had to go through and pick the one thing I didn't do right, and shover everything in my face!

I said I don't need him, that doesn't mean I don't want him!

I miss him so much! I know I shouldn't but i do!

Everyone tells me I am better off without him, I know I am, but that doesn't mean I don't want him, because I do want him

I want him so bad!!

Why am I doing this to myself??

Why am I just causing more hurt?

All I wanted to do is see if we could be friends..

That obviously would be too hard for him.

At least he has stopped appearing in my dreams because that was starting to get annoying!

I wanna have a party :)

Any ideas of what type of party to have?

Please comment telling me what you think about all this, or if you wanna tell me what type of party to have lol =]

Ok Thanks for reading!

Love Jessy