Wow... Its been so long. I so was over MSN Spaces and was obsessed with my Myspace for like a month :P (www.myspace.com/jessicakarli)
I was thinking How cool it was having so many "friends" But I kinda realised something while wondering why so many people would wanna be MY "friend". Well In fact they dont want to be my friend, they just like the idea of other people being their friends, and having lost of comments to make them feel inportant, when the people commenting are most likely commenting so they get comments back so they also fell special! :S
My friend Got his heart broken the other day, I knew it would happen, he was either going to marry her or they would brake up, and the odds are like 90% brake up to 10% get Married. People dont understand the way I think, I cant understand the way they think either, I mean I believe that LOVE is something that once it starts it NEVER ENDS I mean I could be wrong, But these days love has become so not special. I dont understand how one week someone tells their bf/gf they love them, then brake up with them the next!
I DID NOT love my first Boyfriend, although I told him I did, being so young and foolish I thought I did love him, until I found out what love is and realised all I felt for him was a crush, a crush being a thing that does not last. Plus I "loved" the person I THOUGHT he was, not the person he turned out to be...
My second BF I KNEW I didnt love, but I used to think telling ur bf u love them is what ur supposed to do in a relationship... oh and to shut him up! I went out with him not knowing him really, and the more I got to know him, the more I didnt like him, which is Im sure what happenes in most relationships, they go into it thinking I love this person, to realise they dont even know them.
But I do have a bf now, Daniel. I cant imagine my life without him, I mean I may still be young and foolish, but I do believe I love him, not have a crush on him LOVE him, I mean when I first met him I thought EWW!!! he's so ugly and weird... :D turns out thats what he also thought of himself, thats what everyone told him because they didnt take the time to get to know him.
People dont believe it when their mothers say you're not weird you're beautiful etc But they know you better than the people that call you weird and ugly. People dont believe their friends either when they say I think ur awesome, they listen to the people that DONT KNOW THEM AT ALL who call them freaks, which is just stupid.
But I got to know him, as he kept bugging me telling me he loved me, which I thought all he had was a stupid crush. Well We did get to know each other and soon became friends, it was a weird akward relationship but it was fun. I still only thought of him as a friend But one day My cousin came over and I thought Id get him of my back by hooking him up with her... well she did used to have a crush on him, and when she came over said she liked him, well they ended up going out, which when it happened it hurt, And I didnt understand why, I didnt like him, well At least I didnt think I did.
But at the time I also had a cruch on Daniels Best friend Leith, so it was all good hanging out together, it was weird though cuz Daniel still liked me, I liked Leith and was relising I liked Daniel, Leith had his own Girl probs, and Liz had a problem with how Daniel sometimes acted like he still liked me, which he did, but he didnt want to tell her that! Well I also felt upset cuz now that liz was Dans gf, he could hardly be my friend without liz getting all upset about it.
So I felt like I had lost a friend, so one day when Daniel helped ME babysit WITHOUT LIZ I was so excited! him to myself without Liz. I could finaly spend time together with my FRIEND. Well, he realised that he had to stop lying to himself, he didnt love Liz, he loved me! When she got home he broke up with her which ended in a fight. But that day I realised I too liked him, and wanted to give being his girlfriend a try. Well after dumping him so many times due to my anxietys of having a bf, we have been together since 27 Dec 2005.
Wow I wonder who will actually read this? Who wants to know about what I feel, who wants to know what I think of this world? Sometimes I wish my friends would open up 2 me more, I really do want to know how they feel, but Idk if they just dont trust me or if they dont know me well enough, or if its bcuz (most of them being guys) they'd rather tell a guy.
Who knows? I dont believe in first inpressions, bcuz people change, or what you see can be just an act or a front, You never know til you look past the act, look past the front, see the person that no one sees.
Well you can thank Michael for this blog! I wouldnt have written anything but I saw a comment from him saying I should update it. Plus I read his blog, I loved reading things about him, not just him, but also my other friends.
*sigh* Well its late and dad just told me to go to bed *rolls eyes* It sucks trying to sleep on my right ear! I just got my forward helix pierced and its still healing :P Well I should go so Goodnight Love you all especially my friends!! S2 always Jessica xx
